The world is in shock. It’s been reported that Paris Whitney Hilton looks better without a shitload of makeup. News cameras caught her leaving the Lynwood cage at midnight late last night in rare form: Makeupless. Much to the surprise of the media, they actually think she is better looking without the contacts, the lipgloss, the eyelash extensions, the hair extensions, the lip liner, and all those other brushes she has used in the past to paint her painting.

My question is, why does Paris wear so much make-up? People think she’s prettier without it. Is it because she’s in the zoo vs. the jungle? Is her mom telling her to do it? Or is it because she has access to more makeup now that she made all that money from dancing with the devil in her homemade video? These are the things I think about.

* * * For those who are tired of lionistic metaphors, I hope this stimulates you. It could also cause your brain to explode, so don’t say I didn’t say because I said so.

categories: biz, music