Jim DeRogatis: Do you see a lot of concerts? Go see bands a lot?
Lester Bangs: No. I don’t, you know. I’ve never liked live music that much, to tell you the truth.

—from “A Final Chat with Lester Bangs”

Lester Bangs (1948–1982), the legendary and controversial rock critic, wrote deeply entertaining and affecting prose combining the feel of gonzo journalism with a huge dose of self-aware mockery and a surprise of real heart. His writing sometimes evoked a raw and unsentimental poetry. For example, check out how Bangs writes about Van Morrison’s Astral Weeks. Gorgeous.

A public exchange between Anthony DeCurtis and Richard Riegel points out how polarizing Bangs is among rock critics, while demonstrating how incredibly talented writers are at spewing venom. Additional interesting critical POVs can be found here, here, and here.

Besides the bottomless cache on the Internet, there are two Lester Bangs readers (you know, those things with pages that smell of ink when you open them): Mainlines, Blood Feasts, and Bad Taste, and Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung.

—————————————- 

In related news, last week Taylor Hicks’s personal assistant messengered over an advance copy of his second post-American Idol album, tentatively titled, Lean Streaky Music. Our own C2W staff reporter, Kimberly Wells, reviewed the new release by “sampling” the structure of Bangs’ 1974 article “How to Be a Rock Critic.”

Album Review
Taylor Hicks, Lean Streaky Music (Arista)
by Kimberly Wells, M.A., D.Q., M.O.F.O.

This latest offering from Taylor Hicks is__________(fill in the blank)
(a) my cross to bear.
(b) a soul music tour de force, combining serious musicianship, traditional riffs brilliantly reinterpreted, a satisfying progression of songs, and an organic, yet professional sound. Destined to become a classic.
(c) proof that he is not only a talented, sweet guy with a heart of gold, but also a clean-cut hottie who makes my white-bread upper lip bead with perspiration.
(d) available on CD ($19.99) or as a FLAC file you heard about via a PM.

(choose one)
(a) Despite knowing in my heart that this guy will self-destruct in two albums exactly like every other American Idol douche bag, I am contractually required by my employer to review this album. I can’t imagine a task less horrifying and beneath my dignity.
(b) After digging up his two pre-American Idol albums and a long list of live performance mp3s, and after spending endless hours getting familiar with his distinctive voice, incredible harmonica playing, and superlative jamming style, I can see how this album is the natural progression of his talents and musical interests. If Taylor Hicks the album was discomfiting in its pop leanings, Lean Streaky Music is a living, breathing organism, an album that reassures this jaded music geek that the heart of rock and roll is still beating.
(c) I have never been a fan like this before, oh, except for Elvis when I was a girl. I don’t pretend to know much about music, but I do know that when I finally listen to these new Taylor Hicks songs I will be the happiest woman in the world. The Soul Patrol has been working on strategies to help promote this album. Of course, we have covered the basics like calling local radio stations to request the song and defending Taylor’s honor on TMZ.com. We have also come up with a new strategy to gently urge along album sales which involves stationing local National Guard units in Wal-Marts and Borders Books throughout the country. I can’t wait to see all 2,168 of my fan site BFFs at the next show!
(d) I had just finished up my regular Friday night set at Bootie’s joint in Pascagoula. Whaddaya know, in waltzes Taylor Hicks with my pal Keb’ Mo’. We get jack-jawing about life on the road, and Taylor lets drop that he just put out a new album, like I’m supposed to be impressed. He’s wasted, but staggers on-stage and lets loose this unaccompanied 25-minute harp wail that blows my mind. I never knew a harmonica could make sounds like that. Later the dude tipped over our table as he rushed to go puke out back where Paquito the cook usually takes his smoke break. Taylor is one of those salt of the earth guys. Keeps it real. Owes me 50 bucks.

The first song, __________,
(a) “Soul Booty Call” (feat. Kanye West)
(b) “Metaphorical Rose of Hispanic Extraction Located Somewhere in the Five Boroughs of New York City”
(c) “Asexual Family-Friendly Love Song”
(d) “Waffle House Blues”

(choose one)
(a) sucks.
(b) is a gonzo mixture of tribal rhythms and 16th Century polyphony.
(c) is the greatest performance in the history of music.
(d) contains a classic blues chord progression supported by an insistent bass line that gives me the serious munchies. I think I’ll have some grits. Or a BLT. I’m still deciding.

The first thing you notice is__________
(a) you are too insecure to go out on a limb and praise this guy without first checking if Relix or Harp have written anything remotely positive.
(b) the infectious, driving beat that is like a marriage of “Thank You Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin” and “Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing Ta F’ Wit.”
(c) HARP HARP HARP!
(d) the free packet of real Vermont maple syrup that comes with the CD.

The full impact of what’s going on in this cut may not reach you the first time, but if you keep listening a couple of times a day for a week or two, especially through headphones, it will come to you in a final flash of revelation that__________
(a) your review is overdue, better just make something up.
(b) the phrase “the craic was good” is Irish slang for “had a good time” and not—as you have been using it—a filthy double-entendre.
(c) you will be attending every single Taylor Hicks live show from now until eternity, even if it means the end of your marriage and the repossession of your car.
(d) he fucks up those lyrics right good, don’t he?

Cut two is__________
(a) like listening to the death-throes of Western Civilization
(b) exhausting and harrowing, but in a good way
(c) OMG!!!! So awesome! JMHO
(d) sprightly, mineral, and taut with a grace note of residual sugar in the finish

by virtue of the fact that__________
(a) every time I hear his voice I hear the echoes of my own mortality and personal failure.
(b) it paints a dada dreamscape of aural imagery mixed with actual news clips from Iraq.
(c) I love everything that Taylor Hicks does! WOOO!
(d) it inspired me to listen to the entire album under the influence of a combination of Maker’s Mark and prescription codeine left over from when I had my wisdom teeth out. 

In spite of that, I feel that the true significance of its rather dense and muted lyrics can only be apprehended by__________
(a) willfully shutting one’s heart (two sizes too small) to the noise, noise, noise, noise.
(b) gathering the lyrics from Van Morrison’s entire catalog, printing them out, ripping up the pages, throwing them on the floor, and randomly pulling pieces from the pile.
(c) encouraging true-blue, die-hard fans to send autographed harmonicas to AIDS orphans in sub-Saharan Africa.
(d) Googling them.

This record has inspired such__________
(a) intestinal distress
(b) strangely self-satisfied feelings
(c) obsessive-compulsive behavior
(d) neurasthenia/Sno-Ball cravings

in me that I can’t bring myself to describe the rest of the cuts. Anyway, when the album comes out, you can preview them on iTunes or at all the Taylor Hicks fan sites.

I do know that I will__________
(a) submit my annihilating review and, as Defender of Musical Authenticity, move on to destroying the self-esteem (and hopefully the careers) of other harp-and-Gibson-wielding pop poseurs.
(b) research every obscure musical allusion and lyrical tease until I am satisfied that I understand this man’s creative energy better than he knows himself.
(c) scream myself hoarse at the next show, and then get all self-righteous when a neighbor (with some suspicious electronic gear) suggests I may be rudely interfering with others’ enjoyment. People like that just don’t get Tay-Tay the way I do.
(d) need to see more live shows before I can decide if this guy delivers truly righteous mojo. I have a problem with commitment.

—————————————-
Be sure to preorder Ms. Wells’s upcoming book (due out November 2008): Touching the Hem of His Garment: The Art of the Meet and Greet.
 

categories: Uncategorized